Age Appropriateness
The child’s age is a major consideration when deciding which behaviors can be expected, and which are inappropriate. For example, a two-year old can be expected to pick up his toys, but it would be unrealistic to ask him to make his bed and vacuum the floor. Parents should have high expectations for their children, but also keep in mind the age and behavioral level of the child.
Involving Children in the Process
Parents may have the final say, but children are much more cooperative when they feel that they are a part of the decision making process. Parents and children can discuss their wants and needs when it comes to limits and consequences, and leave room for discussion. Negotiations made in the “heat of the moment” (for example, right when the child arrives home after curfew) can lead to power struggles. Therefore, consequences should be arranged before the limits are broken, and if one or both parties wants to amend the limit or the consequence, this can be done later, in a neutral moment.
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