Saturday, November 22, 2008

Final Tips

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This web site was created for the benefit of both foster parents and foster children alike. It is addressed toward parents, but the outcomes using positive parenting practices will undoubtedly affect all involved. When children and adolescents are treated with respect, it will influence them in a positive way, no matter what their external behavior reveals. Although it will often take time for a foster parent’s influence to show in the life of a child, by using positive practices, the parent is renewing that child’s ability to trust others and believe in himself.

There are a multitude of other strategies for positive discipline, but to keep the information from becoming overwhelming, here are the last few tips:

Modeling
The behaviors and attitudes that we expect from children are not much different from those that we should be exhibiting ourselves. If we tell children to “do as I say, not as I do,” children will not take us seriously, and we will lose their trust. One of the most powerful teaching tools is to model responsibility, individualism, and care and respect for others. One very important aspect of modeling is to model respectful and caring relationships with others. Parents can use all the right disciplinary techniques in the most respectful and loving ways, but if children witness their parents constantly fighting with each other or with others, they can jut as easily learn disrespectful behavior as they can the respectful attitude that their parents are attempting to teach them.

Teaching That Mistakes Are Learning Opportunities
It has been ingrained in our minds that mistakes are cause for shame and embarrassment. This view can only lead a person to strive for perfection, which he can never achieve, and therefore a constant feeling of disappointment ensues. Instead of offering that message to children, we can teach them (and model for them) that every mistake has a message behind it, something that we can glean from it and use to better ourselves in the future. This will help them to focus on the positives and keep from getting stuck in the mindset that they can never live up to their goals.

Quality Time
In today’s busy society, even children often have their schedules filled to the brim. Between school, extracurricular activities, homework, meals, and sleep, it can be difficult for parents to get a word in edgewise, especially when there own schedules are equally packed, if not more so. However, there cannot be enough said for the importance of spending quality time with children. This special time is a key factor in fostering a sense of belonging and significance in children. If a parent can even squeeze in a few moments before bedtime in which parent and child can both share the highlights of their day, it will make a significant difference in the relationship.

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